Although I had good reasons to justify my aversion to online dating, there was actually a lot more to it than that.
Deep down I felt I was not perfect enough and I did not believe I was loveable. Despite the fact I was otherwise healthy and active, I had things I did not love about myself.
I was 43 years old, never married, and I weighed almost 300 pounds. Not only that, but I still had underlying fears.
What if I do meet someone that I like and after investing myself in it, it does not work out? Or worse, what if I got hurt?
Maybe I should try to lose weight first? Or get my teeth fixed and have some work done to look younger!
Even if I did all that, where would I begin?
I could try online dating again but how would I know which site to use? There are so many different options.
Should I find a singles group? Then again, they can be quite expensive. That sounds like looking for a needle in a haystack. Not even a hay stack, but a needle in a hay field!!
Shouldn’t I wait for it to happen organically? If I do that, I might miss my “window”…after all, I’m only getting older.
Aside from all these things, where was I going to find the time for a search for love anyway? I literally HAD no extra time!
Even though I had not had great experiences in the past, I knew that online dating was going to be the best chance for me to meet the highest number of “potential” dates in the shortest amount of time. So, after some encouragement from my friends, I finally decided that if I was ever going to find love, I was going to have to just jump right in.
If I was going to fully invest myself and my time into this process, I was going to make it worthwhile. I already had a great life as a single and I wasn’t going to give that up to be miserable in a mediocre relationship! I knew I was going to have to approach my search for love with a different mindset.